DeFarge: “Ted, can you give me a little pose? This is a photo for a dating sight, not your passport photo into soviet Russia!”
Zodiac: “Y’know, you don’t need to be such a mean photographer.”
DeFarge: “SHUT AND LOOK SEXY!!!!!
Zodiac: “Ok, ok *sheds single tear*!”
DeFarge: “God, this is why I smoke! Rik Mayall called, he wants his dead eyed lunatic grin back. You know what, get some of Hagan’s face cream, we are reworking your entire facial structure from scratch!”
Zodiac: “Doesn’t that cause cancer?”
DeFarge: “The camera won’t pick up the cancer, dickbrain! Ok, ok, maybe I’m going too far, maybe we need something to… soften your aesthetic? An animal!”
Zodiac: “Of course!”
One trip to the animal shelter later…
Zodiac: “Introducing, Zodiac Dog!”
Zodiac Dog: “Bark”
(I shall enjoy enslaving these imbecile humans!)
DeFarge: “Ok, just let it sit next to you while I take the shot, maybe it will make you look like less of a sad, pathetic, updateable pervert… and it is already humping you!”
Zodiac Dog: “Bark”
(each thrust brings me closer to glory)
Zodiac: “Get this thing off me, Wade!”
Wade timidly attempts to pull the black Pembroke Corgi off Ted’s leg, yet it proves resilient in its humping.
Zodiac Dog: “Grrrrrrrrrrr!”
(try as you might, human, but all attempt to stop me shall prove futile)
DeFarge: “What was his name in the animal shelter?”
Zodiac: “I think it was Drei!”
DeFarge: “What is that, a reference to something?”
Zodiac: “yeah, but it would be a bit too obscure for most people to get! Get this thing off me, he’s restricting the blood flow in my legs!”
DeFarge: “C’mon, Drei, want a tweet, do you want a tweet *whistles out of tune*. Yeah, Ted this bitch isn’t coming off, we’ll have to take the photo with him on your leg. Call it a testament to your inescapable… humor… that felt weird to say.”
Zodiac: “Fine, I’ll get into frame… is this good enough?”
DeFarge: “You do realize that this is our last photo, so it has to go perfect?”
Zodiac: “Yes, I realize. We really shouldn’t have taken all those photos of Magpie breastfeeding.”
DeFarge: “That’s what you did?!”
Zodiac: “Oh, right… you were at Moths place stopping him from making a happy Moth-ers day joke…”
DeFarge: “You disgust me!”
Zodiac: “Me too, take the photo!”
DeFarge presses the button, only for the garage door to swing open, and slam into the back of his head, knocking him out.
Planet Master: “Guys, I’m alive! I tricked the cougars into thinking I was a baby, so they took me in. I then massacred them in the night… all of them… even the children… especially the children!”
Zodiac: “You ruined… my f***ing shot!”
Planet Master: “Your what shot?!”
Zodiac runs towards Norbert, the corgi still humping his leg, and proceeds to beat the f***ing daylights out of him!
Zodiac Dog: “Ruff”
(May I consume his entrails, human)
Zodiac: “If I see you again, Norbert, Mercury wont just be in Uranus, your f***ing head will!”
Planet Master runs away, bawling his eyes out. Zodiac picks up the camera.
Zodiac: “Oh, wait, the shot was fine.”
DeFarge (concussed): “So, do we let him go!”
Zodiac: “No, now we hunt!”
Zodiac stands ominously, war paint having been conjured onto his face.
Zodiac: “DeFarge… that dog definitely wasn’t neutered.”
DeFarge: “I’ll get the paper towels!”
Zodiac Dog: “Bark”
(This is all part of the plan hehehehehehe HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!”
Zodiac: “HeHe, dumb dog!”
