Saints and Sinner Chapter Five Sai Baba
As our finances dwindled I recall myself being distracted from the importance, the message of the Sai manifestations of various books and people. For reasons unknown to me as a mere employee the hash trade might as well of halted and I was concerned about losing the property if we missed our payments. Though I relished the time to work on the property both Julia and I were aware that income had to be made in order to sustain our situation. We thought of turning the property into a New Age style Meditation Walking Path, charging people for the privilege of walking the newly created trails and if they wanted for a few more coins they could pitch a tent. My full blown idea was to build a Buckminster Fuller style multi purpose building the insides which might resemble a bee hive effect. The main area would hold an entertainment centre, where musicians could play, children could play a kitchen would be central to all the rooms and meals could be communal in nature, I had this old hippie streak still left in me. I saw it as a way to earn some badly needed money and to get people out of their repetitive existences in cities. As a business name I chose Dreamfields Winged Spirits Retreat/Meditation Paths. I needed to get writing paper with this logo on it and for this purpose I visited Marilyn Strain and her sister Valerie at a graphics design shop in downtown Peterborough called Janis Print. Unfortunately the computer I worked on was a IBM 386 while the one that shop worked on was a Mac and those ladies were not able to mix the media I had brought with their computers. In any case I had known Marilyn for some time as she dated our friend Jimmy Fallen aka Mighty, I took her to the Twilight Diner for a bowl of soup at lunch time. At that time I loaned her a copy of the hot selling Celestine Prophecies a book that was causing a stir in multiple spiritual communities. As well I asked Marilyn if she had ever heard of this guy Sai Baba, she looked at me, in total surprise and told me that a woman named Doris Furlonger was coming to the shop in a day or so to finalize her use of their services to print her newly written book on, guess who, Sai Baba! Wow, another one of those events involving books and words. I put myself on their phone list and asked that they mention my interest to meet Doris as soon as possible.
A few weeks went by, then one day the phone rang and I was able to speak with Doris a woman in her late sixties, we agreed to meet for coffee at Gord Fallen and Jennifer Spragues lovely house just a bit north of Lakefield, Ontario. Jennifer and my wife Julia were fast friends who were taking courses in Reikii together, using the same Psychic who lived in Cottesloe, we thought the presence of other females would allow a degree of comfort for Doris. I remember meeting her a few days later in the mid afternoon. I’d never met anyone who had been to Sai Babas home and ashram in Puttaparthi, Southern India. Here was this attractive older women with silver grey hair who lived nearby with her husband, her three children had all left the nest years ago, she told me it was the second time she had married Bill, as they separated once and tried other partners, that never worked out for either of them. All I had to say essentially was that I/we were new to the Sai group of people and I told her of the moves/book manifestations Sai had made via these book presentations to attract my attention in the past three or so months. She said, she thought I was Sai as I had several facial characteristics that reminded her of him, I smiled at that as I had thought for some time that the little bugger was wise enough to be me and many other folks at the same time, the Christians call that bi-locating when describing this type of miracle, a saint for example who can be at more than one place at the same time. It was a bit odd handing Doris our spiritual resumes when she came, she took a moment to look them over which today is just ridiculous but we did not know that she had an ulterior motive for doing this at the time. It turns out that she was paranoid as hell that someone was trying to steal her book before it got published, the guys name was Metzger a local publisher and for some reason she thought I might be his agent, ridiculous. We put that idea to rest and had a general conversation that never really went anywhere. We could see early on that Doris was ‘gaga for baba’, in that she carried herself as a nun in a cloister might do. Saying prayers day and night to him as a sort of deity, it was pretty bazaar, especially since my wife and I did not pray per se. We were more inclined to be the be good, do good, love all serve all type of people that one encounters. I was happy to go along for the ride and see what Doris could share about her experiences.
Our relationship was based essentially on the fact that we were both into Sai Baba. Doris was happy to have someone who didn’t think she was off her rocker. Her book titled Let Me Sow Love went to the printers and when it was ready she gave me a signed copy with two photos of her scotch taped in the covers front and back. In the book Doris discussed a vision in which Baba came floating in the sky and shed a great white light all over her and then he disappeared, this took place in 1974. There were three other visions of Sai Babas head that took place later. She assumed that this was a sign that he wanted her in his group. I wish I had asked how she determined it was Sai Baba, not that I doubt her at all, but because in 1974 few westerners besides some in California even knew who Sai was. I would be interested in knowing this. I was asked to take ten copies of the book Let Me Sow Love by Doris May Gibson to the Sai Centre on Merton Street off of Mount Pleasant Road in Toronto, an area I was familiar with which was not far actually from The Counts house. The first time I took the books the place/temple was closed so I left them with the commercial tenant on the main floor all wrapped up with a note for the Sai Centre, Doris was upset that I would be so casual with her books. They got to the right person that afternoon when the centre opened and Doris was sent a receipt and the funds when the books were sold. She asked me to drop more books off another time but told me I had to wait till the centre opened up before doing so, those books must have gotten there by another means as I did not deliver them under those circumstances. One Thursday night she and I drove into Toronto to attend the weekly Sai Bajans at the temple, this night Doris was to give a talk about her book and the two trips she had made to visit the ashram in Puttaparthi. I recall there were about fifteen people present at the temple when she gave her talk, there did not seem to be a lot of spark in Doris that night, she was not as they say ‘on fire’ in her delivery and the response to her adlibbing was not strong, there was the usual polite applause afterwards, but truthfully the talk was a bit flat, and I think this was so because the material she chose to write about consisted mostly about anecdotal things along her path to her obsessive devotion to Sai Baba as a divinity, when many will tell you that he does not want that praise in life. Much of the material in her book had been borrowed from other writers and the monthly Sai newsletter, as well there were copious quotes from Sai Baba. To me, it read more like a sermon than a personal journal of experiences. Well she had chosen her course of worship and that was her business. I consoled her on the way home that night, asking her to pray for me as I always needed prayers. Still, there was no work in the old NHL, we put the retreat up for sale, tucked our pride into our tails and eventually moved on, closer to Peterborough.
Our friend Shirley Kendall/Gillis attended a conference at Six Nations Reserve in Southern Ontario. In attendance were numerous priests and shamans of Indigenous tribes from all over the world, I would have enjoyed being present. There were representatives of the Hopi tribe, holy people from Hawaii and Tasmania New Zealand, Apache holy men, as well the Dali Lama had a representative present. At some point Shirley and her friend Maria entered a tent where a tiny man, a wizened little man from Tasmania gave a moving speech that had to be interpreted, but the gist of the speech was that his holy man whom he had visited on numerous occasions sent his love. He was talking about Sai Baba. Shirley was exuberant in passing this information to me when she called. Later that same afternoon she was in another tent where a man was sitting holding a pure Jade walking stick, he said to her, “go ahead, touch it, it is mother” she touched that stick which was like a talismans stick a medicine stick, the aftermath of this encounter was that the next day when I saw her, she was still shaking from the combined spiritual power she encountered at the conference. I was fortunate to have some arrowheads to give to her for her medicine and tobacco pouch, these objects had been rescued by my deceased friend Hime from a fat rich white mans cottage near Coldwater, Ontario who saw them as proof of his superiority over the Indigenous Peoples. There was also another talisman a pair of owl wings attached to a piece of carved cedar that I had made, those wings were held to the stick by a piece of beaded leather. I was glad to pass them on and share in her rapture, her husband Gary, the musician, left us alone to tend the gardens in the back yard as he knew that these matters between Shirley and I were Sacred to us.
It was very difficult to find a suitable place to live, such a place existed but we had to sell ourselves in order to pass the scrutiny of the owner who was a sometime film set worker from Toronto deeply involved in differing sexual cultures. She called her property Preview Hills. There was a similarity to her property and the one we had just left. She had set up her land as a sort of retreat where like minded people could come and live in a hippyish setting, camping out or renting the big tee pee she had set up on the grounds near Warsaw Ontario. In order that mixing took place all those staying for the weekend were encouraged to eat in a open area at a long table decorated with hanging lanterns and to fraternize there as well with the other campers. I found this odd. We were going to be renting a big two storey wood frame home with log home styling, wood heated, just built, not quite finished with a walk in basement, lots of room for our crew of five. It looked as if it was a chance for another exciting experience, the setting was fine, ten or so acres to walk about bordered by a gravel road on one side and a meandering shallow river on the other side, with total privacy from any prying eyes. And prying eyes there might be if word got out about some of the erotic parties that were taking place at Preview Hills Alternative Campground during the season which fortunately for us had just ended. Debbie Mac was the owner and she could be a real ball breaker. Debbie’s girlfriend was a petite Spanish woman named Maria and it turned out her father had been to India several times and was a devotee of Sai Baba, to the point that he abandoned his family to serve the Sai Community. After a short time we had a few run ins, I think the worst was when it got cold and we put some wood into the air tight stove and there was an immense smell of plastic burning, that’s when Maria said to Debbie, “ok, now I know where the plastic flashlight went” the smell was poisonous, overpowering, we all ran out of the house. Next issue came a week later when our second car, the Buick failed to start and Debbie came to help, which is normal, but I am more of a fix it myself type of person and told her I could manage the boost that was required. That same week she came and insisted on a full deposit for the propane in a large cylinder that was installed on a poured concrete pad at the back of the house. Both Julia and I were reluctant to pay for something we hadn’t used, we were willing to pay for what we used, but not in advance, we felt that was the responsibility of the homeowner. I honestly thought that the propane could easily have been hooked up to her house as well which was not far away from the one we were renting. The water system was a bit wonky, as I think that they had been diverting water from the river quite some distance away as there was a piece of heavy equipment sitting around and a bunch of dug trenches yet to be finished, it was definitely a work in progress. What had I got ourselves into! The final straw was a meeting we had with Debbie who wanted to work on the hot water tank and divert the hot water steam from the hot water tank to heat the house. Now we are talking a massive house, at least twenty five hundred square feet. In order to do so she needed some upfront rent money from us to pay to have this work done, when it came to money, we were really scrimping and did not want to part with any of it as I was still so to speak unemployed. Then the topper came along, most of these situations were taking place early within the month we lived there. Debbie and Maria came to see us, it was a Saturday we were playing a great record by Jai Uttal, all chanting and rave mixed together. They were wondering if they could take back the basement of the house we were living in and rent it out to gay couples on weekends during the off season in order to make some income. That was it, I guess my homophobia finally erupted and I asked them to leave and gave them our notice. We would be out as soon as possible!
The Gods were good to us as luck would have it we found a home to rent in one of the local free papers close to the village of Keene where the kids were well established, Julia knew people through the school, Christine had a pile of friends, I remember borrowing Gords trailer again and moving as much stuff as I could to the new home. Our parting from Preview Hills was not as amicable as we would like but believe me we had to move or become pawns in that dream, which differed far too much from our dream. The new home was owned by another woman involved in the New Age scene, a lovely older woman named Mrs. Kunz who ran a successful rejuvenation facility/health ranch not far from Toronto, Her son Ziggy an artist at the Irwin toy factory in Toronto was to be our landlord, it looked like a good situation, the house had enough rooms for everyone to share, as Gord said “ it has a carpet in the living area that looked like a pizza had been spilled on it,” and a back room with a wood stove as well as a wood oil combination furnace in the basement with a window to toss your firewood in, we’d be in heaven. Within two weeks of moving in Sally my boss at the NHL phoned and invited me to the city for dinner and a chat, we were ready to work on a new project. There is a God.
Doris kept in touch, she was a hard one to ditch. I don’t know what it was, maybe the age difference, probably her nun like presence. I had told her several times to pull up stakes and move to India. Her husband Bill totally ignored her involvement in the Sai movement. It made no sense to me that she lived like a nun, she could be a positive person in Puttaparthi, here in Ontario she was like a fish out of water. As our relationship came to an end, amicably, I could not tell her what I worked at and I think being discreet was the proper course. I recall she wanted to have her own Temple at her house on Thursday nights, to please Sai Baba, she would invite people to come and sing songs in Urdu and eat little cucumber sandwiches and sip Jasmine tea. Julia and I were busy with two young children and a teenager who could be a bit much to keep an eye on. We never did go to Doris’s house for Darshan, from time to time I wonder how she made out, had she seen my name on the news when I got popped for growing indoor weed in two thousand and eight, that makes me laugh, as now I am within a five minute walk of two pot stores, the world changed.
All was good in the Sai Baba world as they say until one winter day in 2001 when I went to one of the stash houses to meet with my friend Dirk who was working weekends in his role as stash house attendant. The place was quite nice, situated on a quiet lake, architecturally designed with a deck to die for, it was small but the builder had used good parts to put it together, when the team purchased it the company built a look a like garage to use for storage. I would pick Dirk up at the Greycoach bus stop at Simcoe and Aylmer on a Friday mid day and the two of us would head up to Lakefield where we would stop for a case of Moosehead beer and liquor, Dirk was an alcoholic and part of his pay was all the booze he needed to get through his stays which varied in length depending on the quantity of product stashed at the time. We also stopped at the local IGA and stocked up on food, anything he wanted, back ribs, Striploins, shrimp and all the snacks including wine gums, then a short trip to the LCBO for a few bottles of wine and some drinks called Mike’s Hard Lemonade and if he felt like it, a bottle of vodka. Many a weekend he could consume all of this. The consumption made it difficult for me to work with him from time to time if he was in his cups as they say. When working on packaging product into twenty kilo boxes and doing stock, marking the weight on each kilo one needs to be focusing, it is no time for idle chatter. We got along well and he was a caring man who visited our home on many occasions. The drink got to him one time as I showed up on the scheduled Monday at 10 AM to pick him up and a load of product to take to the city and he told me had been unconscious for some time, we later found out he had been in a diabetic coma. Wow, that would have been sad if he had died and I had to get help to move him away from the stash as the coppers would be all over it. But he didn’t die, he got help and drank a bit less in the future making sure to do what was required to maintain proper sugar levels. Hey, who would want to blow this job that paid somewhere in the $2,500.00 a week range depending on load sizes. He was like me, unmanageable, he danced to his own drummer. I miss him we were good friends. He died, I’m guessing around 2005 long after the shop had closed down for good after that big bust of over Twelve Tonnes of hash on the west coast that we don’t like talking about. He died of brain cancer, when he was young he worked at a Scientific place that sold specimens to high schools, things like frogs and snakes and bugs, many of the items were packed in formaldehyde, a very cancerous product, I think that is where he contacted the cancer. So this one time I go visit on a Sunday and the bugger he hands me the Toronto Star religious section and points to an article written by the Stars Tom Harpur a man knowledgeable about religions in the world. Geez, there it was in black and white, Godman in India, Sai Baba exposed as pedophile. It blew me away, I could see a smile on Dirks mouth form as he knew this would hurt me to the core as he knew from conversations that I was in my own way Gaga for Baba. The basis of the article was from a BBC TV show called The Findings that exposed Sai in an unpleasant light. Apparently there had been numerous complaints from mostly western families that their children, mostly boys had all been given private meetings in Sai’s rooms over a period of time and had all been molested to one degree or another, Great Britain took things one step further by letting anyone traveling to India to avoid the Ashram in Puttaparthi, unbelievable! It was a long thorough article, there was no doubt in my mind that Sai may be guilty of these transgressions. My Catholic upbringing was not accepting of any form of pedophilia and it was with a sad heart that I gave Julia the article that night. I actually remember being so upset that I sent the author Paul William Roberts a terse note via email about these allegations asking him to expand on them if he could, he never replied to my email. This shook the roots of my belief in the Sai organization, one of which I was aware could pull all kinds of strings in India to avoid prosecution, which they were successful at doing. Still right is right and wrong is wrong and I took a stand against Sai and we were without a spiritual presence around me and Julia for some time, it was shocking. I did not cry, but I wanted to, I had to lower my face to those who I had promoted Sai to.
In 2006 I made a call to my old professor from the University of Windsor, Dr Spellman. I brought up India with him as he had done work in India after retiring from teaching on Ancient India. One of his functions was seeing to it that water systems were installed in impoverished areas part of some work he did with the United Nations. He told me about other lawyers/advocating work he had done near Windsor and his home town of Amherstburg where his work was key to preventing an important Wetland from being turned into a subdivision, as well he spoke at length about his work in the Sikh Community in the dispute over whether the Sikhs had the right to wear their ceremonial swords (Kirpan), his testimony was key in winning for the Sikhs this right as it was determined that the Kirpan was a religious symbol and could be worn to school by Sikhs. Then I took over the conversation and I brought up my disappointment in Sai Baba and the goings on at the Ashram in Puttaparthi. It turns out that Dr Spellman himself had been to the Ashram in the early 70s and what he said was interesting. “You know Charles,” he called me Charles, “when I was in India in the early 70s at the Ashram there were rumours then of Sais sexual proclivities, but I want to tell you this,” his East Coast Salem, Massachusetts American voice rose an octave so he could better enunciate what he was to say to me, “There is no doubt in my mind that Sai, does far more good on earth than evil.” And, you know, right then, right at that very moment I knew that I had a new tool for judging the deeds of others. I did not forgive Sai his transgressions right away but in time, I was able to understand the deep words that Dr J.W. Spellman had shared with me. In time I forgave Sai Baba and was able to resume my relationship with him. Now, I must say that for some time, when telling people about Sai, to my wifes great chagrin, I let people know about his issue with boys then I finish the story with the stories of the millions of people he has helped on earth. He is an enigma.
Last year I was writing a short story on a social media site, Facebook where I publish as Selrahc Yrogerg. I forget which story I was telling, probably something from the bike world that has been the greatest gift to me, to find a function that encompasses many of my skills, as I need to write ads to sell the bikes, I need to take photos to sell the bikes, I need to be able to buy and sell bikes, I need to be able to mix with people of different socioeconomic roots, it is a combination of skills that I use to be successful at this gig and I am thankful to Sai Baba for presenting me with this opportunity to serve my fellow man. After one such write up a man responded to the ending I used in the story, as a Sai devotee, mind you a very obscure one, I know that many devotees end their conversations and their written pieces with the words Sai Ram, the meaning of which is I see the God in you. On this particular night someone in the bike world who has a cult following for the incredible Vintage European bicycles he creates responded to me with the same salutation Sai Ram. It was this past winter I was at the Regal Factory in Omemee where my friend fellow bike nut Andy Murdoch had invited me to come pick up two lovely bikes he thought I would like. We were just getting comfortable when this tall, good looking sixty or so year old man walked in, Andy introduced us, he said, “Charlie have you met Wayne so and so” and the last name was fumbled so I said, “Wayne who” to which Andy replied, “this is Wayne Jolly, you two have never met but you know each other.” Wayne is that Sai devotee who lives in Fenelon Falls and has the big road bike collection. We talked like two lost brothers, I had not been with another Sai devotee in many years. He asked me about Prema Sai the one who is said to be the next, the third incarnation of this deity, I have not mentioned that Sathya Sai Baba is the second incarnation, following a man named Shirdi Sai Baba who lived around the turn of the 19th century further north in India. He and Sai have similar abilities. Wayne had heard that Prema was now amongst us.
So this Sai tale goes on, it mushrooms. I burn incense when I can when I am opening the shop, there is a picture of this fuzzy haired man in an orange robe pinned to the fence below the incense sticks. My wife and I speak about Sai and his abilities often, this week I think I have concluded that Sai sent those small messages to me via the appearances of several books, just to show us what he could do. He visits from time to time, it is always very subtle when he does, no grand events like saving me from a train crash or such, but I know he is there orchestrating events, watching over me, even altering the course of history so no harm will come my way till my work is done.
I write these words for Sai Baba, fulfilling a wish I had over thirty years ago to do so. After writing these words, this five chapter story, I reviewed some words by Paul William Roberts the author that were important in propelling me to write these chapters. I’d like to share with you a paragraph from a blog entry he made in December 2015. Pauls life had changed considerably since he wrote Empire of the Soul and other wonderful books. He lost his sight more than likely due to exposure to nuclear materials while he was in Iraq covering the invasions by Americans on that country. America actually banned his book titled A War Against Truth as he was too descriptive in describing the bomblets that they had rained down on Baghdad. His wife Tiziana had left him, she died, their son got into a pile of trouble with a bag of cocaine and a loaded hand gun, he was sentenced to eight years in prison, Pauls world, so to speak fell apart. It was just by chance that I was searching the web when I typed in his name and found his blog site. I was quite saddened to here he had moved on in the Astral Plains. Here are the words he shared with us.
Baba said: “The mind is fed by five senses. Take away those senses and only you are left. No world, no things, no sound, no taste, no thought – yet consciousness is there. The God of Moses says, I am that I am, yes? This is the truth of your soul. It is never born and never dies; it dwells in eternal bliss, at one with all. You are all divine and eternal, yet you do not realize it. This is why I am here – not for anything else. Love is God, and you feel this in your heart. You feel goodness and compassion there too. They are not thoughts. Make the mind a tool, but control it to be silent when not required. Like a monkey it leaps about to little purpose. Make the mind do one thing – mantra, counting breath, it does not matter – and you will control it, having also peace. Practice this each day, and you will then know that Swami, you, and God are one and the same. The soul can never be harmed, so why fear? I am here and will always be with you. Be happy, love all as one, and the whole world will reflect happiness and love. It is so simple that your busy mind overlooks it. One moment of giving love and peace to all is worth ten million dollars, even more. But all karmas must be settled, for people and countries. I shall have to leave this body when that time comes, because this big hair and red robe distract you from the divine in your heart. I want no worship; I need nothing; but I come because you are all free to do whatever you wish. Too many are now wishing to be bad. I come to protect you from them, and to repeat eternal truths, laws that never change. When this body is no longer seen, you will understand more, and see this world of maya for what it is. Never fear; always I shall be here, for where else can I go? Where can you go? Be good, do good, see good. Yes? Oh, it is still too simple for you!”
OM SAI RAM
