Welcome to the Grandfather Mountain Christmas Tree Test Facility. As you can see, these black balsam and Fraser firs are currently undergoing rigorous frost survivability testing. This is done in the windiest of conditions to assure that the branches of your tree do not snap off in adverse conditions, which guarantees they do not snap off in the ideal environment of your toasty home! “Windiest” is significant here at Grandfather Mountain where wind gusts have been recorded in excess of 114 mph… that’s F2 tornado velocity! You will notice that these trees lean slightly with the prevailing winds… our firs are wiser than the mighty oak of Aesop’s fable, The Oak and the Reeds, which is read to them often. Another effect of this test extends itself from the branches to evergreen needle retention… households with furry pets, such as cats, are often averse to the introduction of one more shedding thing. You can rest your mind that these premium Christmas trees will not add to your cleaning regimen, assuming you have one. Speaking of cats, further tests include the use of the most energetic and erratic local bobcats to chase squirrels up and down each tree to check the trees for symmetry and balance. To a lesser extent, though just as importantly, we also incorporate local deer who test the trees by vigorously rubbing their antlers against them and bears who do their best to violate the trees as backscratching posts. Not to be outdone, the Grandfather Mountain Christmas Tree Test Facility takes its cue from Santa Claus, himself, by checking each tree twice. Our Christmas trees will stand up well to even the most deranged housecat. That said, our trees are not responsible for your grandma’s heirloom ornament that is batted to smithereens by your unhinged tabby. That’s because the exacting proportions of these firs are specific to optimal ornament placement, as well as garland and light strings, given careful placement. Be sure to size the tree according to how many ornaments you plan to use. No matter the size of the tree you choose, we have taken thorough steps to transition every respectable fir into the quintessential majestic Christmas tree, worthy of its angel or crystalline star topper. Leaving no stone unturned, we have hired many retired crash-test dummies with the most astonished expressions plastered to their faces. They stand among the trees to prepare them for the looks they will get as they drape their branches over thoughtfully wrapped presents… or even just plain bags and boxes. Who are we to judge the wrapping impaired? Lastly, though not least, by the time each tree reaches Christmas tree status, it includes free – that’s right, free – Christmas fragrance, enough to bring the fresh outdoors indoors! We are so confident of our trees that they are guaranteed for life… or until January 1, 2019, whichever comes first… and we hope it’s the latter.
A proper explanation of this image is that, after poking his nose in the clouds, Grandfather caught a cold. What you see here is not snow… it’s rime ice, also known as hoarfrost (hoar being the German word for hair). It occurs when trees, leaves, and grass assume the ambient freezing conditions, in this case 17°F (-8°C). Ice crystals of frost develop on them when exposed for a long period of time to unusually humid air, such as a cloud. That frost wraps itself concentrically over fir needles… looking closely, the frost appears as tiny hairs. The frostline here indicates where a cloud parked itself on the prominence at around 6,000 feet (1,828 meters). By the way, this year’s Whitehouse Christmas Tree is a Fraser fir chosen from nearby Newland, in Avery County… I’m sure it passed all these demanding specifications. Somewhere around 350,000,000 firs are grown annually on farms throughout the United States and Canada. Of those, between 25-30,000,000 Christmas trees are sold yearly in North America. North Carolina ranks 2nd in the nation with 20% attributed of the total sales… but none of those sales come from Grandfather Mountain, as it’s unlawful to take trees from a state park.
There are many Christmas trees all over the world, including those only in the spiritual sense that have no presents to spread their boughs over… you can help with that. Samaritan Purse’s www.samaritanspurse.org/ Operation Christmas Child www.samaritanspurse.org/operation-christmas-child/pack-a-… makes it easy to send God’s love in the form of a shoebox full of goodies to kids all over the world. Go here to build one online: www.samaritanspurse.org/operation-christmas-child/buildon…
